By Our Love

Sunday, May 5, 2024 – John 15:9-17 Also Acts 10:44-48, Psalm 98, 1 John 5:1-6

It’s not fun to feel left out. Last week, I began my sermon with a story about feeling like I didn’t quite belong at a conference at a Catholic seminary. Today, I want to share something a little more personal.

When I was about 13 or so, we stopped worshipping at St. Paul Lutheran Church in Linden, NJ and started attending Holy Trinity in Union. Interestingly, Holy Trinity was in the Slovak-Zion Synod, which later became a part of the ELCA. I’ll never forget the gorgeous 14-foot wooden statue of Jesus that was hand carved in Italy and hung behind the altar.

Back then, I was a dorky kid and very uncool. At Holy Trinity the youth group was made up mostly of kids who thought they were cool and who didn’t often accept me into their fold. Although I did receive my first real kiss from the handsome, blond-haired son of the pastor. Though it was at a dance where I think he kissed all the girls.

One Saturday, they took us all on a day trip to a local horse farm. Now you have to understand that at that time I, like most girls, was absolutely in love with horses. But my little suburban home, our modest finances, and my allergies didn’t allow me to pursue that passion in any meaningful way. So, I was happy to go to the farm.

After we arrived, all of us teenagers immediately walked to the back of the pasture where the girls quickly split off from the boys and took out their cigarettes. I was not a smoker then and I’m still not a smoker. Once again, I didn’t feel like I fit in, and I had no desire to do what they were doing. So, I began the lonely walk back to the house by myself, probably singing the song “Alone Again, Naturally.”

About halfway to the house, a beautiful blond Palomino horse walked right up to me, as if he knew I needed a friend.

I couldn’t believe it. Palominos were even my very favorite color of horse! And would you believe that gorgeous blond boy stayed with me and followed my every step for the entire afternoon.

Later, when the owners saddled him up to offer us rides, they let me ride him first. And after everyone was done, they invited me to walk him around the pasture in the evening darkness to cool him down. I was as happy as I could be.

Honestly, that was one of the most meaningful events of my life.

When I needed a friend, it seemed as if the hand of God reached right down into my loneliness and brought that beautiful being to walk alongside me.

We might wonder who we are called to walk alongside today. We live in a period marked by an epidemic of loneliness. In 1985 when asked in a survey how many friends they had with whom they could discuss important matters (not including spouse or family), the most common number of friends listed was three. In fact, only 10% said they had no close friends. But by 2004, that 10% had become 25% who had zero friends.

And I can attest that making friends as an adult isn’t easy. It’s not like my college years when I had a dorm full of girls and classrooms full of potential friends who were all in the same boat. In a blog from February, Mike Frost writes that even churches aren’t doing so well when it comes to building friendships.

“Are friendships really that important?”, you might ask. And besides, what do loving friendships have to do with church? Aren’t we supposed to be focused on baptizing and making disciples?

Let’s take a look at our gospel for today. What does Jesus have to say about all of this?

Our reading is from John’s gospel at chapter 15 on the night of his arrest. But if we back up to chapter 13 we read about Jesus’ last supper with his people. Just about everything that follows that supper is about love. We’re told that “Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.”

Jesus washes his disciples’ feet, tells them one will betray him, watches Judas leave, and then he tells them he’ll be with them only a little while longer. How must he have felt in that moment? Crestfallen? Grief-stricken? We can imagine then that Jesus – as he faces his lonely walk toward death – wants to give these beloved followers as much of his teaching as he can. He’s got to make sure they really get what is important. This is no time for wasting words.

In these last moments he must distill down everything he has ever done or said. What does he tell them? He says,

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

This is still in chapter 13. Between chapters 13 and 15 he talks about being the Way and being the Vine – about following him and abiding in him.

But then, for the second time, Jesus talks about love. He commands them – he doesn’t just ask them, or encourage them, or make a suggestion – no, he commands them to love one another in the same way that he loves them.

And while previous verses may have talked about servants and masters, he now says that “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.”

For one brief afternoon, when I felt alone and unloved, one friendly horse chose me, he chose to walk alongside me as my friend. And that made all the difference.

We can make a real difference in other people’s lives. When we extend ourselves in friendship and in love, I believe, is when we are bearing the fruit that will last. This is how people will know we follow Jesus. This is how they’ll know we are Christians. They’ll know we are Christians when we follow Jesus’ commandment to love one another.

Not just our family. Not just our existing friends. Not just our fellow church members. But the people out there in our community who feel alone and lonely. When we can love them, they’ll know we are Christians, and they’ll know to whom we belong.

Let’s sing together “We Are One in the Spirit (They’ll Know We Are Christians by Our Love).”